IT

Title: IT
Category: Comics>Batman
Genre: Humor/Family
Author: Moonsetta
Date: December 6, 2014
Rating: K
Status: Complete
Summary: The acrobat slapped a hand over his forehead, his face burning in embarrassment. How could this misunderstanding have gone so wrong?
A/N: Let me make it clear that there is no pairing or even romance in this piece. This is all in good humor.

---

Timothy Drake and Damian Wayne were having a staring contest over the last piece of pizza when IT happened. They called the situation 'IT' because nothing else really seemed to fit well…'IT.' The entire family had been watching a movie in the den that none of them even remembered when firstly, Jason left claiming the movie was boring. Tim and Damian spent the entire span of the movie psychologically fighting over the snacks that had been laid out on the coffee table (which was really much too big to be even considered a coffee table in actuality), particularly the five XXL supreme pizzas, while Bruce and Dick seemed to be the only ones actually watching the movie.

After the credits began rolling Bruce stood up, cast a look at his sons wondering how they were managing to play tug-of-war with a slice of pizza, and then motioned back to Dick to follow him before beginning his trek towards the hallway. In response, the world's greatest acrobat raised an eyebrow- his eyes holding a small spark of resentment, before he hopped up onto his feet with more energy than strictly necessary and followed Bruce Wayne out of the room.

Now, only Jason Todd saw the whole thing, but the two youngest did see enough.

In Tim's mind, he was completely focused on how he could strategically get the last slice away from Damian. He didn't care if he was being a brat-he didn't like the little demon-spawn anyways! As life would have it though, the soft slice tore in half.

"Hmph!" Damian smirked, prideful that his half of the slice was slightly bigger.

Tim only growled, trying to imitate his mentor, "Little Prince."

"And don't you forget it-Drake."

It was when Tim was two seconds away from picking up the nearest pizza box and slamming it over the boy's head when Jason tore back into the room, gasping for breath.

"Replacement, Demon-Spawn…"

The two younger guys just stared with identically raised eyebrows. Oh the irony of life!

"Is something wrong?"

Because plain and simple…Jason Todd was not one to panic. He could stare down anything and laugh at it, then claim he would kick the rear-end of whoever was behind it. So this was…not right. It just wasn't right. So Tim tensed for a minute and listened, expanded his senses like he was taught. He picked up the distant sound of Alfred doing the dishes in the kitchen, the obvious pitter-patter of rain outside, Jason's labored breathing (much too obvious), the background music behind the movie credits on the television screen, the slight creaking of tree branches outside, the lasers in the DVD player reading the disc and even quiet voices a few rooms over that he rationalized were coming from Bruce's study. So Bruce and Dick were probably discussing a case, the movie HAD been boring given it had only held Tim's own attention for about six minutes. Anyways, they obviously weren't being attacked so what was wrong?

Jason took a deep breath.

And a second deep breath.

And a third deep breath.

"Todd, you imbecile what is wrong?" Damian demanded, though through his tone had already insinuated that whatever was unbalancing Jason and his world he just didn't care about it.

"THEY…HE…HIM…!"

"Jason, complete words and phrases please?" Tim asked with a nonchalant wave of his hand and a slanted expression that matched the tilt of his head.

"Yeah, we don't speak street-rat-rubbish Todd."

Jason took another deep breath and paused with a long hum.

"BRUCE JUST PROPOSED TO DICK!"

"…"

"…?"

Both Tim and Damian busted out laughing, both falling back and leaning against one another. It lasted awhile…The youngest regained his breath first though and crossed his arms with a smirk.

"You know Todd I didn't think you had a sense of humor. I'm loathe to admit it, but you've proven me wrong."

"IT'S TRUE!"

Tim only came down from his laughing high long enough to gasp as Jason grabbed his hand and started pulling both of his younger brothers out of the room.

"Todd release me at once!" Damian yelled.

"Quiet!" Jason whispered loudly as the three reached the line of light down the hall.

Jason clamped each of his hands around the younger boys' mouths as the three leaned forward towards the surprisingly warm air spilling out of Bruce's study, listening.

Jason was joking…right?

"…Bruce…I-I…"

A deep sigh, "Please Dick…just…"

No way. Jason was joking. This was a joke and Bruce and Dick were putting on an act and…wait. No. Bruce wouldn't act out a…uh…

Damian, eyes wide, shoved Jason's hand away from his mouth and frowned curiously before stepping closer to the door and peeking inside. His face…oh his face. Tim had never seen Damian look so, surprisingly confused. Widened eyes, a crinkled forehead that shouldn't have been possible at such a young age, limp limbs, slouched shoulders and a dropped jaw confused Tim, who then copied the boy's movements to a dime. They both saw Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson in the center of the room, the elder's right hand outstretched holding a black velvet box while holding a small smile on his face and the younger's two hands grasping the box by its sides with a shocked expression curtaining his face with an open mouth. Unfortunately, the hallway didn't allow a strait view of the prize inside the box but the three pairs of blue eyes were easily drawn to the gleam of gold that was slanted up at the edge.

Just. No. Freaking. Way!

"Bruce…"

The elder man's smile grew a bit before he reached up with his left hand and closed the lid with a soft snap before releasing his hold and letting the younger man take it from his hands.

"Now…hm, don't lose…"

"Iwon't!" Dick said fast, his hands tightening around the box.

"My room. COUNCIL!" Tim whispered harshly before he and Jason tiptoed away from the door, the elder having to come back and scoop up a stone-like petrified Damian.

"Wh-why? How? What? How? What? Wh-? Wa?" the youngest gasped as the thin stream of light from his father's study shrank into the distance as Jason carried his wooden board of a body up Wayne Manor's staircase.

---

Alfred Pennyworth was mentally tapping a foot over the dinner dishes. Not physically though, he would not allow his emotions to take precedent over his professionalism again tonight. Unless his Masters failed to-

"-and he actually tried to!"

A huff, "Teenagers."

The Wayne family butler raised his head from where it was bent over the sink and glanced towards the doorway where Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson entered the kitchen, the younger recounting a story about his last visit to the newest generation of the Teen Titans. Both were calm, the acrobat smiling as wide as ever and, strangely but not unwelcoming, Bruce was wearing a small smile of his own. Alfred's unseen tensed shoulders relaxed. It appeared that the exchange had ironed things out.

"Hmm, I guess the others went to bed," Bruce said, his eyes scanning the doorway behind them and the area he could make out from the den, his ears easily picking up the music that played behind the DVD's Main Menu.

Dick raised a curious eyebrow, "Weird, it's only ten thirty."

"Master Bruce, am I correct in assuming that everything went according to plan?"

Bruce cleared his throat before speaking.

"Well, yes. At least, I hope so," he stated, casting a sidelong glance at his companion.

Dick's wide smile fell in to a relaxed easygoing look, "Yeah, we're…cool."

Both Bruce and Dick were almost shocked out of their shoes and socks when Alfred very visually breathed in and then instantly released a relieved breath, "Thank goodness."

"That's…kind of scary," Dick whispered.

"You're telling me," Bruce whispered back.

"Now sirs, if the two of you have not had your fill of dinner tonight, there are two steaks in the microwave I have cooked to perfection to make up for the rather un-delightful meal earlier this evening."

"I knew you meant to burn our steaks!" Dick exclaimed.

"Speak for yourself," Bruce muttered, "Alfred's been burning every ONE of my meals for the past few months."

"Which I hope Master Bruce, has taught you well," Alfred said, drying his hands on a nearby towel before retrieving said steaks from the microwave and heading towards the breakfast bar where his two masters finally sat down.

"Yes, it has. I shouldn't have…yeah-food," Bruce muttered, his eyes instantly speeding to the steaks his butler was carrying while he tried to erase his memory of the burnt, bone-filled chicken salad Alfred had served to him the day before for lunch.

Satisfied that his charges were eating properly, the Wayne butler returned to his duty of washing the dishes while Bruce and Dick did their best to discuss the Mirolin case, a gang that was beginning to grab power in the Gotham Underground.

Over at the sink, Alfred held up one of his silver serving trays, catching the reflection of Dick staring down at a gleam of gold inside a small black box on the bar in front of him. This was a big move, especially for Bruce Wayne-but now…

He saw the two smile at one another and he grinned himself before breathing a silent, "Finally."

---

Its two weeks later, when Nightwing, aka Dick Grayson, pulls into the underground Batcave where Gotham City's vigilante is pacing the stone floor, grumbling, that they begin to face trouble.

"Alright what's with this, Batman?"

"It's the others," the Dark Knight grumbles, reaching up and pulling down his cowl, "Damian's out right ignoring me and I have no idea what I did to make him angry. Tim and Jason haven't been home in weeks."

"Bruce," Dick said, peeling his mask away from his face the blue stripes on his glove flashing momentarily in the reflecting light from the Batcomputer, "I don't really think that's out of character for Jason. Maybe Tim's just busy and Damian's probably in a brooding mood. You get in them all the time after all."

"But not like he's been. Every time he sees me he glares. Do I really glare like that?"

The younger man raised one thin eyebrow, the amusement and annoyance all pureed across his face.

Bruce reached up to run a hand through his hair with a deep sigh, "No wonder my villains are psychotic."

"I told you that you need to work on your social skills, you got real bad people problems."

Bruce's serious frown that followed made the situation that much more humorous in Dick's mind before he reigned in his balking at the irony of the situation, "Look, why don't you go talk with Damian? I have to head to Sirius City so I'll stop on my way to talk with Tim, OK?"

A deep sigh, "Yeah, hopefully we can get some answers from them."

---

Tim could not believe that they were having the conversation. Did Dick not see that he was about to jump out of the window due to insanity?

"I mean I know it's a big step for Bruce but you can't argue that he hasn't been happier."

"And you two are SURE about this?" Tim asked, twitching where he was sitting behind his desk in his room at Titans Tower.

Both were in Tim's room, the door open and their masks gone from their faces.

"Of course we are!" Dick said with a wave of his hand, "I mean it's no biggie."

"Huge-y," Tim muttered under his breath before speaking up again, "I think-Dick, are you absolutely sure this isn't going to cause more problems between you and Bruce?"

"-but Tim that was the whole point of this. Alfred's been pushing us for months. He finally got through to Bruce with bad cooking and he was about to start using it on me."

"Alfred knows?!" Tim squeaked.

"Of course he knows, it was his idea in the first place."

Tim had fallen silent with wide eyes and a dropped jaw.

"OK, stop it, you look weird like that. Now, I did stop by to see why you haven't been home in weeks. Batman does need your help out there, Robin."

"I'll be home for dinner," the younger muttered, his eyes getting lost in the world of letters and numbers that were on the sheets of paper that covered his desk.

A sigh, "Well, alright then but I warn you that Bruce is going to want more answers than that."

Dick stood up from where he had been sitting on a nearby chair, stretched and reapplied his mask to his face.

"Don't worry he's not mad, just confused," Dick mentioned, heading towards the door where he spotted Tim's team peeking in around the corner.

When the front door shut behind the departing Teen Titans' founding leader, the entire new generation of teens rushed into their leader's room.

"What's going on?" Impulse chirped.

"Are you OK?" Wondergirl said placing a supporting hand on the Boy Wonder's shoulder.

"It didn't sound like you two were fighting," Superboy muttered, though with the 'bats' he couldn't be entirely sure if they were fighting or not since they did near everything through subtext.

"Guys, I don't know what to do."

"About what?" the speedster urged, moving his hands up and down questioningly.

Tim pushed his chair back from his desk, plucked Wondergirl's hand off of his shoulder and reapplied his own mask to his face before standing up, "Guys, its Batman and Nightwing they're…"

He couldn't even bring himself to say it.

"Is it a really bad fight?" the Boy of Steel said with a curious eyebrow raised.

"No!" Robin shouted and moved to the center of the room, beginning to pace.

"Come on Robin, stop keeping us in suspense!" the blonde injected.

The Titans leader took a very deep breath before speaking quickly, "Batmanproposedthey'regettingmarried!"

Impulse, aka, Bart Allen, passed out.

It took a second for Superboy to work out the words and then he had to sit down, "What?"

"Say again Robin, I don't think I heard that right," Wondergirl said, rubbing her ear as if it would cause the words she thought she had heard to make sense.

"They're getting married."

"Ah, that's what I thought you said."

Silence.

"I need to talk with Superman."

---

He knew kids loved playing jokes but this one was going a bit too far. Superboy, aka, Conner Kent had delivered the news to him with a quiet voice. When Dick had been Robin there had been a great amount of stories about him and Batman having a rather 'disturbing' relationship. Of course, having been one of their best friends, Clark Kent, aka, Superman, knew the truth. True that the two's relationship was complicated because there was too much going on in it for said relationship to have just one label. Though he couldn't empathize with the connection in question he did understand to a point.

They were best friends, student&teacher, allies, father& son, partners, mentor&protégé, brothers, general&soldier and even fan&hero.

Of course, people were going to believe what they wanted to. Heck, there were still people in the world that believed that Superman couldn't fly, that Batman wasn't human and that Wonder Woman was actually a man in disguise.

So, with a silent sigh Clark Kent shed his earthly identity in favor of the Man of Steel before flying off to a now nightly layered Gotham City, convinced that this was just one of those out of wild gossip column stories that had somehow affected the children.

He found Gotham City in a strange stage of celebration, fireworks, stands linings the streets and a fair sized parade. Weird for the dark city. Due to a little super vision the Man of Steel found Batman and Nightwing staring up at the fireworks from the rooftop of Reynolds Tower. Both were sitting on the edge of said rooftop and surprisingly Batman appeared to be relaxing for some reason. Because really-Batman relaxing?

"Something wrong Superman?" they asked in unison.

He forgot how good they were. So with an amused smile his red boots eased down on the rooftop behind the bat and bird. Both turned to look at him, Nightwing smiled while Batman had an annoyed eyebrow raised beneath his cowl.

"Well?" the Dark Knight prompted, his muscles tensing beneath his uniform.

"Be nice," his partner said with an elbow to his arm, "Batman, you promised."

A deep throated sigh followed, "Fine. Want to join us?"

Superman smiled, walking over and sitting next to Batman, "Sure. What's the celebration for?"

"They finished rebuilding the University," Nightwing said turning so he could pull a box out of the shadows that Superman hadn't noticed previously.

How did they do that?

"Now, who wants coffee and doughnuts?"

"Coffee and doughnuts for dinner?" the Man of Steel asked with a raised eyebrow.

"It's three in the morning," Batman pointed out.

The Dark Knight seemed interested in one particular float in the parade below for a long second before he turned to his protégé, "You know what I want."

Nightwing rolled his eyes, somehow still expressing emotions behind his mask that no one else seemed to accomplish, before reaching for the box. He pulled out a second smaller box, a large thermos and a small stack of Styrofoam cups.

"Yeah I know. One coffee, you take it black and your favorite sprinkled doughnut."

No way was Batman actually going to-oh…

Superman was confused and then shocked when Nightwing handed over the black coffee and a doughnut that was glazed, covered with pink (yes PINK!) icing and heaped with multicolored sprinkles.

"Batman?"

The doughnut was stopped halfway to the Dark Knight's mouth whereupon he turned and growled, "What?"

"That doughnut."

On Batman's other side Nightwing froze as he was reaching for one of the doughnuts in the box, "What, are they poisoned?"

"That doughnut's pink!"

"Congratulations, you're not colorblind and of course it is, its strawberry," Batman said, finally biting into the doughnut.

The acrobat resumed reaching for his own doughnut, plain glazed, while he simultaneously poured cream and sugar into his own coffee, making his partner shake his head slightly in exasperation.

"Now don't be rude Batman, he did come all this way to-uh actually why are you here?"

"Yeah, it must have taken him all of three seconds."

Was that a joke?

Shaking off the shock of seeing Batman eat a strawberry pink iced sprinkled doughnut and then tell a joke Superman found his voice again, "Uh, actually I heard something interesting from Superboy today that Robin shared with the Titans."

"Oh, you mean about this?" Nightwing spoke up, catching the Kryptonian's attention.

Alien blue eyes saw the movement of the blue striped arm and then…a black velvet box. It shocked him back into the air in front of the building.

"What's wrong?" the acrobat said with tilt of his head.

"It's…true?" the Man of Steel whispered.

No way! No way was this true! It was a joke! This was just a gossip based-

"Of course it's true," Batman growled into his next sip of black coffee.

"…"

"…"

Uncertain of what the tension was for; Nightwing raised the box of doughnuts towards Superman, "Doughnut?"

"Ihavetogo!"

Swish. He was gone.

"And you say I'm rude," the elder vigilante said with a huff.

"Maybe its Lois."

"Women."

"Be nice, and have another doughnut."

"At least Crispe Cream spells doughnut right," Batman mentioned, his eyes sliding over the 'From the World's Greatest Pastry Company since 1937' greeting line printed on top of the box before he reached for another treat.

"Hmm, I don't get it why don't they call them dough-wheels or dough-rings? In fact now that I think about it they look more like washers than nuts," the younger contemplated.

"Oh what are you complaining about? This newest generation can't even spell doughnut."

The acrobat laughed, "That's true."

"It's 'dough'nut not 'do'nut," the elder muttered.

"Two jokes all within the same hour? Should I be worried?" the younger man asked with a raised eyebrow and amused grin.

"It's all your fault," Batman said with a shrug, polishing off another doughnut.

"Alright, yeah it is but I did get Tim back to Gotham. By the way do you honestly think sending Damian out with Tim and Steph tonight was a good idea?"

"Probably not but I already paid Stephanie to distract them so we could have tonight for ourselves," Batman said solemnly, his eyes resting on the box in his partner's hand before they moved up and met blue on blue.

"Uhh…"

Both night dwellers glanced up to see that the Man of Steel had returned but was frozen in place while floating in the air in front of them.

"What?" Batman barked with a glare.

Swish! Gone again.

"What's his problem?" the Dark Knight asked.

Nightwing shrugged in response, "How should I know? You work with him."

"You worked with him last."

"Oh come on, during that whole investigation we talked for a total of maybe…twenty minutes."

"WE don't talk that long," Batman said with an expression somewhere between a sneer and a pout that was kind of funny.

"Then talk Batman, I'm listening."

---

Wonder Woman did not like Nightwing. No one really understood why. The two of them rarely communicated and if they ever did, it was normally because the Original Titans were working on a case or in an emergency with the JLA. When the Trinity met to suggest new members for the League Nightwing was always brought up and the vote was always the same:

Superman: Yes.

Wonder Woman: No.

Batman: Neither.

Everyone knew this was how it went. If Superman had the ultimate say Nightwing would have probably been with the founding members of the League. It was hard to say how Batman would feel about his protégé being in the League, though everyone was positive that the Dark Knight would leave the final decision to the acrobat himself. If Wonder Woman had the final say though, she probably would have striped Nightwing of the hero/vigilante title all together. His eyes wouldn't be behind a mask at all.

No one understood it. So she was properly steamed when the acrobat strolled into the Trinity's meeting room, shocking Superman stiff and catching all of the Dark Knight's attention.

"Hey Batman, come on its three."

In response Batman got to his feet, "Of course. Lunch?"

"What's being served today?"

"Flash convinced them to serve pizza," the Dark Knight said with a deadpanned look that was half bored as he reached the door and stepped out into the hallway.

The two power houses of the League continued listening in silence as the two retreated down the hallway.

"Sweet! See, your best friends always come through for you."

"Wait! Are you saying you two planned this?"

"May-be."

"Alright! That's it! Get back here!"

"Oops try again!"

Wonder Woman was glaring at the door. Superman gulped and stared down at the table where the Trinity had been going over star maps of the Orion-6 sector. He could still hardly believe that it was true. That it was happening and it unnerved him a…whole lot. Those two were out in the hallway, flirting! How did this happen? Should he be worried? How far were they in this relationship? If Bruce had already proposed though, they must have been intimate already. But how intimate? How long had it been since they had been…since they started this? How long had it been going on? They obviously didn't care if someone found out considering they had confirmed it to him but they hadn't made an announcement. So…ugh! How was he going to live with this?

"Humph," Diana, aka, Wonder Woman, exhaled before standing up and placing her hands on her hips while continuing her glare at the door.

The amazon princess didn't know. Should he tell her? Maybe not. But what if she found out on her own? Then again, Superman was still coming to terms with it himself. He would need a few more days thinking over the idea and searching his memories for a clue that revealed when this had started. So with a muttered apology, Superman left the room, leaving Diana to continue glaring at everything in sight until a ring went off from her commlink.

"Wondergirl?"

"Wonder Woman you are not going to believe what I heard from Robin the other day."

The older woman rolled her eyes as her glare melted into an easy amused smile in response to her protégé's excitement, "Alright what did he tell you?"

On the other end, the fangirlish squeal rolled out the message.

"WHAT!?"

---

Jason finally got his short of a chance when he found Nightwing sitting in the shadows beneath a building's overhang. The Red Hood's boots hit the stone and took the World's Greatest Acrobat's attention away from a roll of bandages.

"You hurt?" the anti-hero asked, his concern very professionally hidden.

"Just this one," the other man said, his gloved fingertips ghosting the edge of a very obviously deep bite mark on his neck.

The Red Hood shook his head, ignoring the thought that automatically came into his head, "What did you tangle with, a tiger?"

"Nope, a moth. Well, I tangled with the moth but Batman's the one with the teeth."

"…what?"

"Yeah, we finished the mission to Tebel early and Bruce's bite is definitely worse than his bark."

Jason Todd had had short conversations with a variety of people but he didn't believe that he ever wanted to get away faster than he did at that moment.

"Igottogo!"

The acrobat vigilante glanced up from where he was re-bandaging the deep bite on his neck that was still expelling a little blood and dropped his jaw in surprise at how fast his little brother disappeared. After closing his jaw a silent minute later he shook his head.

"Man, everyone is freaking me out."

"Something's wrong with them."

The young vigilante turned his head sharply and found himself only three feet from the Dark Knight.

"Obviously. Weren't you heading for Star City?"

Batman crossed the last three feet and sat down next to Nightwing, "I was but Robin said he'd take care of it with the Titans and left as fast as he could."

Gotham City's main vigilante glanced at the large red dark mark on his partner's neck and reached up to ghost his own fingertips around the wound before clearing his throat awkwardly, "Sorry."

Nightwing shrugged, "It's alright. I mean, we were BOTH caught up in the…craze."

"Still, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you," Batman said softly, switching his gaze to the roll of gauze in the younger man's hands but making no move, waiting.

The acrobat rolled his eyes heavenward but then handed over the gauze while speaking, "For the last time, I forgive you."

Even though he knew Bruce would only slightly forgive himself when the mark was gone. It was something they would have to work on, but for now it was nice to relax and allow the strangely warm gloved hands to redress the wound. There were compromises to be made-always would have to be made, but they were doing well.

So far, so good.

---

Damian was a whole other function of the equation. For weeks he had only minimally spoken to anyone and now Dick Grayson was suffering because of it. Due to an overly worried father on the other end of the commlink, he had yet to get any dinner. A stream of cases had kept him from his home in New York City for near a month and only now was he able to store the little black velvet box away. Well, if Bruce Wayne was anything it was traditional. Although, he would give anything for a bullhorn or megaphone at the moment because man could Bruce talk your ears off when he wanted to!

"I don't know what to do! He stays in his room all the time! There's no demands! He won't talk to me! He won't talk to Alfred! He hasn't insulted Tim for near a month! He doesn't want to train! I even suggested he patrol with me last night since Tim was still gone with the Titans but he declined! Worst of all, he's calling everyone by their first names!"

"Hmm, that IS weird."

"I know Alfred's worried. He took the night off."

Uh oh, "So what are you guys eating?"

"Oh, we're ordering Chinese."

"I'm on my way."

"Do you think you could talk some sense into Tim and Damian?"

"Are you kidding? WE are going to have to talk some sense into them during dinner and don't even think about escaping to the WatchTower."

"Dick, I couldn't if I wanted to."

"Why's that?"

"Wonder Woman's unofficially banned me from the WatchTower."

"Why?"

"I. Don't. Know." Bruce breathed in exasperation.

Dick reached his front door and stepped out with a growling stomach, "Something's wrong with everyone but, whatever it is, why haven't we been affected?"

"I'm not sure," there Bruce sounded more like himself again, "I'll start some tests."

---

Dinner had been a quiet disaster. Neither Bruce nor Dick could get to Tim or Damian and the two children just escaped to their rooms when they couldn't stand it any longer. Whatever 'it' was that is.

A sigh escaped Dick's mouth as began running water to clean the evening's dishes. It still amazed him that Bruce, who had such a thorough knowledge and understanding of forensic chemistry, could not accomplish the simplest culinary task. Unfortunately Damian was turning out no better at it than his father, Tim was quite a hardworking amateur at it but he always resorted to pb&j, Jason half the time would just open a can of something and eat it, Barbara just didn't eat that much, hardly ever being able to keep a jar of peanut butter in her presence, so she pretty much just consumed coffee, Cassandra ate…whatever was there and Stephanie was all about the basics; pancakes or waffles, a sandwich or salad, and maybe spaghetti with some garlic bread for a typical day.

Living on his own had prompted Dick to start learning the culinary arts himself, even later during his days with Titans. Between all of them meals had been…difficult. With Kory with her Tameranian tastes, Vic's love of meat, Gar's strict vegetarian diet, Donna's unfamiliarity with cooking not done over a bonfire or food not picked from a plant, Garth's preference to Atlantean foods that could only be found in the ocean and fear of any dish that could possibly contain any of his undersea friends, Raven's reluctance to admit that she liked or disliked any food in particular and Wally's constant need to refuel, any meal plan preparation was a disaster waiting to happen. Now that he thought about it, Roy had been the only one who didn't cause the leader trouble in that area.

Dick had promptly started cooking the moment he arrived at Wayne Manor, finding everything precisely labeled. Ah, Alfred was a life saver! So the World's Greatest Acrobat dove into a safe recipe of cheese stuffed rigatoni covered with sweet and sour sauce alongside a basil and dill salad with balsamic vinaigrette dressing. Sure, it had all been eaten, but the only one who had said anything was Bruce, who was still seemingly in awe that his eldest protégé could cook quite well.

"I didn't know you were this good at cooking. Has Alfred been teaching you behind my back?" Bruce asked as took up the cleaned plates from the counter before drying them and putting them away.

Dick rolled his eyes and flicked a few soap suds at the billionaire, "Not all of us are naturally horrible in the kitchen Bruce. I did learn some from Alfred but most of it was experimentation. I had quite a few fun adventures with ramen noodles and spam at first."

"…don't let Alfred hear that," Bruce whispered, his eyes glancing back at the kitchen door, "I'll be in even more trouble than before."

He didn't know when the butler would be back but the duo settled into silence. That is until-

"You have any ideas about everyone's weird behavior?" Dick asked.

Bruce sighed, his shoulders slumping slightly, "Nothing so far."

Dick hummed and handed over the last clean plate, which Bruce dried and put away. Just because he was a billionaire didn't mean he couldn't complete normal tasks. After all he had had to once when-

Dick froze when he heard quiet laughter coming from his companion, "What's so funny?"

"I was just thinking, remember that one time Alfred got amnesia and then conjured up the thought that he was Batman?"

The acrobat couldn't help laughing himself, "Yeah, you had to be his-well Alfred and I's butler. That was hilarious!"

"Hey I was a very efficient duster!"

"Heh, that you were. Though, I still had to do the cooking in secret."

"That's not my fault."

Dick chuckled in the back of his throat, "Bruce, you can't even boil water."

"I can too! I just…get confused when there are things floating in it."

The two made a quick clean up and then headed down to the Batcave, both recounting their early years as the Dynamic Duo. Unaware that three pairs of blue eyes were watching them from above.

---

Extraterrestrial blue eyes opened to unfelt cold and clean ice that made up the Fortress of Solitude. The owner of those blue orbs took a second to laugh at the irony before finally landing on the ice floor with a habit-deemed exhaling breath. OK, he had thought about it-for quite a few days actually. He had contemplated and meditated and even imagined it.

So-just like that. The two were together and he found he was…OK with it. He knew Bruce, so he knew that this wasn't something that just sprang up and neither had this been going on for a ridiculously long time. Batman wouldn't have acted on any attraction while Dick was still a child. Despite their opposite opinions on many things Batman and Superman did have many similar morals.

Now, the nature of the proposal…

Well couples were usually together for years before proposals happened so how long had they been 'dating' for lack of a better term? Maybe since Timothy Drake became Batman's new Robin? Or was it when Damian was discovered? Somewhere between? Probably not Tim, which was a pretty big gap. In the end, Superman decided that it must have been shortly before Damian.

Well, the two always had been the World's Greatest Adventure Team, the Dynamic Duo. Dick's light attitude had always balanced out and neutralized Bruce's shadowed grumpiness. So maybe this would be beneficial for the both of them. From what the Man of Steel had seen, the two were certainly getting along better than ever. Which was very welcome to him as one of their oldest friends. The two had been so happy when Dick was a boy and now they seemed to be regaining some of the happiness they had previously abandoned in favor of their own selfish prides.

Though now he was curious. If they weren't going to make an announcement were they going to get married in secret or would they decide to just have a big wedding and welcome whoever was there at the time? Sure Batman didn't seem to be the kind of person to want a big celebration though where Bruce Wayne was considered…

Oh, and he was just beginning to understand the chaos that would come from this! It probably would be a secret wedding, but witnesses would be required. Who was going to marry them anyway? As far as he knew neither Bruce nor Dick were close to any preachers. Though, they might have a judge that owed them a favor or two. Well, he better go and tell them that he had accepted it.

So with a small smile, the Man of Steel took off, out of his Fortress, into the artic sky and flew along a quick jetstream to Gotham City. He had been floating above the manor hidden in a cloud when he spotted Tim and Damian staring down through a hole in the ceiling of the kitchen and Bruce and Dick heading towards Bruce's study to, he assumed, head down to the Batcave before patrol.

In a super-flash he was down in the cave facing the duo, which were already suited up and heading for their vehicles.

"Hey Superman!" Nightwing exclaimed while Batman just grumbled.

The Kryptonian smiled widely and finally set his boots done on to the floor of the Batcave.

"What do you want now?" the Dark Knight demanded, crossing his arms with a glare.

OK, it wasn't so surprising that the two might have been…uneasy about his opinion given his traditional background but he was here to, hopefully, get on Bruce's good side again given Dick didn't seem to be any radically different.

"Actually I just came to let you guys know that-"

A sudden alarm cut off his statement making the cave shake.

"Wayne Tower!" the Gotham vigilantes said in unison before hurrying to their vehicles.

They were gone so faster than normal humans that the Kryptonian almost missed their departure.

"Hmm, guess they're busy," Superman decided.

---

It all came to a head one morning when both Batman and Nightwing were visiting the Watchtower to search for files concerning a race of extraterrestrials they believed were landing in the back alleyways of Gotham City. It wasn't their first time dealing with aliens but they decided they would rather have some information rather than none. The Dark Knight himself had spent most of the time mentally punching himself in the face for missing the files previously and therefore not adding them to his own files on the Bat computer.

"Stop it," Nightwing said with a sing-song voice, "Batman, you weren't even with the JLA on that mission."

"That doesn't excuse carelessness."

"We've GOT to work on that self-concept you have."

BANG!

Both vigilantes turned to see one pissed off Amazon in the doorway of the records room who had her arms crossed over her chest, eyes drawn down in a glare, fists clenched and posture completely unmoving.

"What?" Batman barked, given he was already irritated by his own mistake.

"What are you two thinking?"

The Dark Knight glared, "That a certain Amazon needs to get back to Monitor Duty."

"Uh, I guess what I'm gonna have for lunch?" Nightwing said with a small smile and shrug.

Her glare only grew harsher. So in response, Batman turned back to the computer console to continue his search.

"Why I-!"

"Diana! Wait!"

A blue sleeved arm quickly came to rest on the Amazon's shoulder.

"Hey Superman!" Nightwing said with a wave.

Wonder Woman stepped further into the room to allow Superman through the doorway, still continuing her glare.

"Now Diana, you have to come to terms with their engagement."

"Engagement?" the Gotham vigilantes said in unison before they turned towards one another face to face.

Underneath the cowl, Batman raised an eyebrow, "You're getting married? Where are you hiding this daughter-in-law of mine I don't know about?"

"I'm not getting married," Nightwing said, throwing up his hands in mock surrender, "I-wait, did you pop the question to Selina?"

"I'm not getting married either. What are you two talking about?" Batman said, crossing his arms and turning back to face the metas of the Trinity.

They were both staring, jaws dropped, eyes wide in shock.

"-b…but the ring!" Superman stuttered.

"What ring?" Nightwing asked an eyebrow rose under his own mask as he stared.

"The box."

Both the Dark Knight and Squire stared up at each other for a moment before turning away, their eyes wide. Batman was the first to recover, naturally, and turned back to his teammates his face now drawn tightly and angrily.

"You thought we were…"

"…"

"...we're leaving."

---

They had Superman and Robin atop Wayne Tower at Midnight to explain.

"But-the box, we saw the gold gleam and-" Robin suddenly fell quiet at glares from his mentor/father and mentor/older brother.

"This box?" Nightwing said, holding up the most recognized object of their attentions lately.

The spectators gulped as Nightwing's other hand left his side and reached for the top of the box. The top snapped up and back, revealing the prize inside.

-And inside…was not a ring. It was actually a soft velvet violet pillow that held about seven pearls. Not just any pearls though, they were stained with a very old but recognizable substance…blood and one of them held the half of a clasp made of gold. Those pearls were…

Martha Wayne's.

The only question was…

"Why?" Superman said.

Batman cleared his throat awkwardly, "Well as you know Nightwing and I have had…trust issues, especially as of late. These are all I was able to collect after…you know. I've never let them out of a highly reinforced safe in a bunker beneath the Batcave."

"It's just his way of saying that he trusts me," Nightwing said with an affectionate smile, "I swear that's all there is to it."

For any outsider, they wouldn't have understood but Superman and Robin did.

"So, the two of you aren't…together?" the Kryptonian asked meekly, not wanting either of them to erupt at him.

"No," Batman growled slightly stepping forward, only being stopped by a hand on his arm from his eldest protégé.

Robin began to protest, "But when you came to Titans Tower you said-"

"That this wouldn't cause more problems between us, it was the whole reason we did it," Nightwing said.

"But you said Alfred had-"

"Been burning my dinner for months after our last fight," Batman explained, "Alfred was after me, us, to come to a sound peace. The whole idea was his in the first place."

"Oh…"

Superman then found the courage to speak up again, "That one night you said you paid Stephanie to take out Tim and Damian so-"

"So we could have the night for ourselves. We were fighting previously so we really weren't spending time with each other," The Dark Knight explained, seeming to appear a bit sheepish with the response.

"Not that our jobs allow us to much anymore," Nightwing chirped in.

"Uh, just one more thing?" Robin said slowly.

Batman said nothing, just turned his eyes on his younger protégé.

"Uh, Jason said he saw Nightwing one night with a bite mark on his neck that he said came from you."

"The mission in Tebel," Nightwing said with a humorous smile.

"Tebel?" Superman inquired.

"An extremely quaint African country that had been abandoned because of a hazardous radiation leak," Batman explained, seeming to enjoy it or rather enjoying knowing something the others didn't.

"Batman had been monitoring the country for some time and once the radiation levels dropped below the tolerable level he picked up some radio signals beneath the city. The country records revealed that some homes had had some steel underground bunkers and there might have been survivors," Nightwing threw in.

The Dark Knight turned to the Man of Steel, "I was originally going to ask you to investigate the country with me, but given you were avoiding us and Robin was gone with the Titans, I had little choice."

"We had directed most of the survivors across the country line-"

"But the bite-" the Teen Wonder protested.

"Was from a moth," the acrobat exclaimed.

"A moth?" Superman asked, disbelief curtaining his face.

"The radiation caused a mutation in the brown spotted moths in the area causing them to grow 200 times their size and to develop a new mixture of venom that is very deadly. The most comparable venom on earth is Datovizon and it even overtakes that," Batman said.

"What's Datovizon?" The Man of Steel asked.

He only got annoyed looks. What? He didn't know about it! Unfortunately, he was ignored by the Bat and Birds.

"We ran into one when we were investigating a bunker near the borderline," Nightwing said, frowning at his mentor.

"The creature was intending to bite me but the idiot here decided to get in the way."

The acrobat's frown turned into an annoyed pout, "Uh, you're welcome!"

"It bit him in the neck and I had to get the venom out."

"Your teeth were sharper than that moth's," Nightwing said, while rubbing his neck where he had been bitten.

"I'm developing an antidote," Batman said quickly to the general air.

"And I called the Justice Society to round up the moths," Nightwing said.

"Now, any more questions?" the Dark Knight demanded.

Robin's worried look melted into one of relief but then he suddenly frowned, "Uh, you guys might have a problem then."

"Problem?" Batman asked.

"With Damian."

"Robin, I'm sure if he's angry about this he'll get over it when he realizes this was all a big misunderstanding," the acrobat said dismissively.

The Teen Wonder tilted his head to the side and narrowed his eyes in worry, "That's not what I mean."

---

What Tim Drake had meant, both Bruce and Dick were now experiencing. Bruce had gone to Damian's room to explain but it was only a very short minute before he called Dick up to the second story of Wayne Manor. The acrobat found his mentor at his youngest brother's desk, flipping through what appeared to be a journal. Alas, he was wrong for it wasn't a journal...it was a wedding planner.

"Is it too late to say oops?" Dick asked, his eye twitching at 'spring theme' scene that had been drawn on the third page in.

Bruce only shot him a deadpanned look as a response.

When Bruce reached the middle of the book, there was a detailed plan of the wedding bouquet, every flower, every meaning, every angle labeled, all the measurements written to the side and the number of petals that had to be on each flower.

"Would you please talk to your son?" Dick demanded, "I mean, this is ridiculous!"

When Bruce turned the page and the next page unfolded itself into the detailed plan of a wedding dress, Dick turned back to the door, shouting back at Bruce, "Not happening! I wore a wedding dress for you once but it's not happening again!"

In all the irony of the situation Bruce smirked, "Oh come on Dick, you'd look pretty in this!"

"Not happening! You're way too old for me Bruce Wayne!"

Unfortunately, as Dick was descending the stairs he met Damian climbing them, his eyes drawn down in contemplation.

"Hey Dami," Dick said, reaching over to ruffle his little brother's hair.

"…" the youngest Wayne just stared up at him, his face half contemplation and half confusion.

"Listen, um your father needs to talk to you," Dick said, motioning up the stairs, "Bruce is in your room."

"Of course, father and I MUST speak and I will speak with you later Dad."

"What?"

He must have been frozen in surprise/shock for too long for when the acrobat regained his senses Damian was gone.

"I warned you!" came a sing-song voice from the foyer below.

Dick resigned his facial features and finished his trek down the stairway where Tim was standing near the front door.

"How long have you known about that book?" Dick asked, his eyes still VERY confused.

Tim sighed, running a hand through his hair, "Around the third night. He's already planned out your wedding…and your first two honeymoons."

The acrobat slapped a hand over his forehead, his face burning in embarrassment. How could this misunderstanding have gone so wrong?

Well, Bruce was upstairs setting Damian strait while Superman and Robin were going to work on cutting down the rumors among the JLA and Teen Titans. So, everything was going to be OK.

"Bruce upstairs?" Tim asked.

"Yeah, setting Damian strait so we won't need to worry about any overly detailed wedding plans."

---

Turns out, Dick still had to worry. He and Tim were watching the news when Bruce entered the den, his face carefully veiled in cold professionalism.

"Hey Bruce, what's wrong?" Dick asked, his face drawn down in worry.

"Tim, go do your homework," the billionaire demanded quietly.

"But it's sum-"

"Homework."

"Alright, I'm leaving." Tim said, throwing up his hands in a humorous mock surrender as he walked out of the room.

Bruce closed the door behind the computer tech Boy Wonder before turning back to the acrobat, who was still frowning.

"What's wrong?" the younger man asked again.

By the look of things it hadn't gone well but had Damian been furious? Had he honestly wanted them to-OK, too weird of a thought. After a deep sigh, Bruce's façade fell away.

"I can't do this!"

"What do you mean?"

"I can't tell Damian it's not true."

"Uh…why not?"

"Look."

The billionaire crossed the room and handed a manila folder to the acrobat. Dick's worried frown changed to one of curiosity as he took the folder and flipped open the front. The first page was a drawing of Batman, standing atop Reynolds Tower, glancing out into the night. The next was a newspaper clipping of Nightwing leading the Titans in a charge against an invasion of alien spaceships. The third: a shadowed picture of both Batman and Nightwing swinging down towards an armored car, their forms nothing more than shadows. The forth: another drawing, this one of both Batman and Nightwing standing atop a building that Dick recognized as the central communication hub building in Star City. Both vigilantes had one hand on the antenna to secure their positions on the tower.

OK, first of all, Damian was good at drawing. Interesting. Second of all, what was here that was stopping Bruce from telling the kid that-

It was the fifth drawing that made his throat clog up. It was the three of them, Bruce on the left of the page, his cowl pulled back, Dick on the right, his mask gone and between the two, hanging on to their arms, was Damian in his own customized Robin costume. This might have not been enough for a strong willed person but the title at the top of the page made the acrobat just stop.

MY FAMILY

"…"

Bruce was saying nothing.

The only words Dick could find to say were, "Have you talked with Talia lately?"

"Well…no."

"…What do we do now?"

Another sigh, "I don't know."